Biography and Story Section

[Rakashi Yamoki]

So, as some people may have noticed, I do some writing in the biography section and some RP as well. If you don't then... well... go read it please, please give me some feedback, and see for yourself how you like it!

That being said, I am rping a character who, in my opinion, would never have a journal. It is established that by the time of RP, she is insane, as such her journal would, a) make no sense, b) be written in old Ophian (think the equivalent would be the language of say church books being in Latin while a large group of followers were Germanic languages.) and c) she lacks the ability to concentrate long enough to write entries.

As such, I have been writing in the perspective of those around her in the time which Fasska fell. One reason is to give some depth to the reasons Fasska fell as all that is established is that it is an abandoned city. I wanted to offer some reason to why that was and it seems that most of the feedback is positive.

Getting that feedback is what motivated me to write the section two of the story, again, not in my character's perspective. So... if you like the two stories please help me with seeing where I should go moving forward.

That being said, the third entry I wish to put up was another one of these frame stories, but much... much more darker. While I would have to say that the ending bit of the first story was a bit darker... this would be about several order of magnitudes.

The perspective would be in that of Meer'tis, the High Favoured that betrayed his people in the hopes to save himself.

The setting is going to be pre-Fasska Fall and hopefully delve a little more into his motivations as well give a little insight to the story which it is framing. All of these stories are connected in minor ways. This one will be no different.

However, the manner which I approach this story may be.

Now, personally, I want to take a darker role with this. This role, however, may not be friendly to all audiences. As such I figured the best thing was to put it up to the people who are actually reading the thing. Since you would be the ones suffering enjoying the story, I figure you need to have the say in what I do with this one.

Option one: Proceed with the story as you'd like it.
Now, if you select this option that be warned that this will be a story that I would described as rated R (movies) or M (games). I will not hold anything back when describing the details that happen. Means full language usage, description of in depth blood and gore, even implied actions which could be considered torture. Now, even with this warning I will not hesitate to pretty gruesome things. So this list is not, by any means, complete.

Option two: Proceed with a PG-13 lid on it.
This option, if selected, simply means that I am only allowed to use only a few cursing and a bit of violence, but no more then that. As such, means it is accessible by everyone and no one should feel too disturbed from the mere literary actions (the implications remain the same as that is something I can not change). It will be a little more dancing about the core actions, but have a few incidences of cursing and violence.

Option three: Proceed with a PG lid on it.
This option is more of a safety option. This means that I will have to never directly show or talk directly about details. The other two are more accounts that I would think were directly told by Meer'tis if he were to say, confess to someone. All details are let out and nothing is held really back (You'll see if I write this). This however, would be more like a diary entry in which he would account things... trying to paint himself as not a bad guy.

That is pretty much where I stand now on this. Please let me know what you think.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and vote.

~Rakashi_Yamoki

Arc One: Scripts of Favoured-Zythira/ Memoir of Turiya
Arc Two: An account from Captain Isaac

[jammx]

Remember this is a 12+ server. Some people might be offended by the material shown here.

[Rakashi Yamoki]

That was my very reason for asking. I didn't want to jump in to it without consulting anyone first. I am aware that it is a 12+ server. At the same time, I think that it wouldn't be very affective for me to use a (essentially) PG rating for the third story.

Either way, I intend to put up a number of disclaims in order for there not to be too much surprise. I think that the PG-13 ish style would be a little tricky, but doable for the type of story that I am thinking that I will pursue in this entry. I by PG-13 ish that would kinda be like movies like this:

Parents Strongly Cautioned – Some Material May Be Inappropriate For Children Under 13. These films may contain sex references, up to four uses of explicit language, drug innuendo, strong crude/suggestive humor, mature/political themes, moderately long horror moments and/or moderate action violence. (Wiki)

That said, I am dedicated to the task of being as limited as possible when it comes down to language as well as describing gore. The main fear that I have is revolving more sensitive issue. I mean... essentially, I have to write about a guy who decided to torture a woman so that he could use her for a thing which I will not spoil.

Now, the question is, to what degree do I describe the torture? Do I put in every detail and pretty much paint the entire picture of what happened? Or do I sort of imply torture but never give the reader the chance to see it first hand?

The other question is to what extent is the torture. There are literally loads of different avenues I can go with the theme of torture itself (In that sense... by default it is unable to be PG... Torture is something that is VERY serious and I do NOT want to down play the very seriousness of that... hints the thread regarding that). Torture can take the form of (From wiki... minus the ones that I truly don't intend to even touch on... this listing is also including some that I won't touch on as well... but I mean the glaringly obvious ones are the ones I removed.):

Psychological

Blackmailing
Intimidation
Shaming and public humiliation, being stripped or displayed naked, public condemnation
Shunning
Exploitation of phobias
Being subjected to interrogation for long periods
Sleep deprivation
Solitary confinement
Sensory deprivation
Exposure to unpleasant sounds over a long period of time
Threat of permanent, severe disfigurement.
Pharmacological torture
Threatening to hurt or kill the victim's loved ones.

Physical torture

Abacination
Beatings and physical violence
Blinding with light
Bone breaking
Branding
Choking/Strangling
Crushing
Cutting
Disfigurement
Drowning
Flagellation
Force-feeding
Mutilation
Oxygen deprivation
Pressure points
Sleep deprivation
Sound
Starvation
Strappado/squassation (also known as "reverse hanging" and "Palestinian hanging")
Stress positions

Chemical

My main issue is that I don't want to address this lightheartedly, and this is something that would come up in the course of a third story.

[kingsmill]

I think you shouldn't be restrained but should remember that when doing a story this the dramatical effect is lost if you go into too much detail.

The torture shouldn't be important, it is a means to an end, focus one the pain and resolve of the victim and just lightly touch on the actual techniques of torture.

This will increase the tension of the story and invoke much more passionate responses. I know this because my English teacher said the exact same thing when I wrote a story about a mass murderer.

I also think you should concentrate more on Psychological torture as it is a much more writeable form of torture. The main concept with many types of psychological torture is the waiting where you can explore the deep recesses of the characters mind and truly bond with them

Just my two cents.

-kingsmill

[Rakashi Yamoki]

Don't worry, I do plan for a great deal of psychological stuff. That was going to be the primary focus. The thing is, essentially you will be reading how a character loses their mind as well as some rather crude language, along with several instances of physical abuse/torture.

I know about the problem that occurs when one is far too graphic. I just want to cautious on proceeding with this. I want to have the opinion on anyone who has read it as well as other people's general opinion. Don't want to assume that I should do this at the rating I want, while the rating everyone else wants is much lower.

Yet, thanks for the input, really! Thank for the tips.

UPDATE: Alright, I will start writing it under a PG-13'ish and R'ish style. It will not be featuring a specific scene I had in mind, but it maybe referenced... so since the lowest rating I can go is PG-13, then I will address the majority of things...

Thanks for the imput!

[Rakashi Yamoki]

Well, alright. Since I have some positive feedback from the stories and such, might as well link something some people might enjoy. This is my Deviantart and it has a few stories set in the Mass Effect Universe with some Original content. If you are interested, by all means look at it and please, give input. The more comments I get, the better I can get at writing... I still have some ways to go, but it helps to get some pointers.

rakashi-yamoki.deviantart.com/